Monday, July 12, 2010

Lost in California

I haven't been blogging. My life here is way less exciting than it was in Korea. I haven't been in since January. Everytime I think about...daydream about moving back I think of all the Koreans and all their dirty and mean-spirited behaviors and I wince. Korea would be a great place to live if they Koreans stopped all the low-class, miseducated, and retarded things they do...I won't list them; if you live in Korea, you know.
This hot chick's last post was on the wives' tales/uneducated/miseducted/ignorant/try-cause-someone-told-me things that Koreans will say.
Well put, but I would like to add how all Koreans are the is like they are all preprogramed with response and comments...yes, all of them. Amongst the things that all Koreans know with metaphisical certainty:
-Korean food is too spicy for you
-You are incapable of understanding Korean "culture"
-You dont speak Korean

What was the point of the post? Oh yah, you're stoned.
I do not, any longer, feel that California is home to me. What it is home to includes a whole lotta people who are not like me. No one speaks English here anymore. Unemployment exceeds 10%.
I am bored now with this post.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Korean idiot of the week

I came across this ad online. What a moran. I was going to attempt a stab at humor, but this is just one of those stupid-koreans-have-no-idea-about-English moments.

Job Title:
English native teachers
Located at:
Gwangyang (South Korea)
5 or more
$2000000 KRW
English native with Bachelor Degree and higher
Required fields of expertise: ESL/EFL Details:Must have a Legal Working status for South Korea to apply! Round air ticket. Housing. Assisting Health Insurance and Pension. Severance added. 7-32days Vacation. Bar with Aliens, Espresso, Shopping Mall.

Fucking retards

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Stocks are up, pants are down

The actress...thanks, bro, for leaving the comment. I had forgotten all about that. I have a picture of her and I will block out the eyes and post it, along with a story. I might even post about my new Asian non-Korean girlfriend I have been going out with.

I wrote a post on February 25th about trading stocks. I bought and sold Micron Technologies (MU). I made a nice little profit. I have been buying and selling it nearly daily for the past 3 weeks. It closed at $10.21 today. I am up nearly $1900 in less than a week. I suggest that you guys look into it. The chip maker is looking at an advantageous selling environment and DRAM and NAND demand is up. 6-month Target Price is supposedly at $15.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

No one reads this piece of shit anymore

Thinking of shutting the blog down. No one reads it anymore. But Cowgirl in Korea reads it and I would love to Cowgirl her, reverse and otherwise. She is one hot hottie of cacasianality. I might have to break my Asians-only policy of dating. Who is still reading this blog?

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Get that fucking Korean piece of shit away from my driveway

Someone parked a beaten up old Hyundai in front of my house last week. It made me feel violent. I seriously wanted to smash the car; not sure what that was all about. It was a little bit over my driveway which pissed me off too. I would have beat some DAK up if he had gotten into his car and said, "Solly" to me for his transgression.

Bored today. Went for my morning run. Cleaned the outside of both sides of the house. I am getting ready for a business trip to Arizona. I will drive the Porsche there. I'll take a shitload of pictures and show you when I get back.

I helped an old woman push her...whatever those mini cars are that look like the Mini Morris from Austin Powers...up the block and gave her my parking space. Some high school kids joined in. Her transmission fluid was either gone or her transmission was fucked cause it would not move in first or second gear. We parked her car and she was sobbing. I gave her a hug. She called AAA.
Do something nice for someone if only because no one else will do it. It's good karma. But don't do it for Koreans...they wont say thank you or even appreciate it. That's so pathetic. Open a door for a Korean sometime. They'll walk through the door like you are the fucking bellhop.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Cry have been victimized again

The same judge who disqualified Kim, Dong-sung in Salt Lake in 2002 just DQed the Korean team from the Gold they thought they had won in women's 3000 short track. I feel so sorry for believe me, right?

Koreans will never be better than Ono at speedskating. As a matter of fact, Koreans are not even good at short track; it's just that they are good at pushing, shoving, and jumping the queue...the fact that they are on skates comes in a distant 2nd. Koreans will never be as cool as Apolo Anton Ono. He is not fit to stand on the podium with you, that dickhead said? You couldn't even hold this guy's soul patch, my kimchee-fueled friend. This is the most decorated Winter Olympian in the history of the Winter Olympics. Only a Korean would say that about the podium nand Ono.

Everyone be careful out in Korea today. Koreans are gonna be pissed. They have yet another reason to hate foreigners. They actually enjoy the kind of pain that comes with playing the victim; but it brings out their 화병, too. Hwa Byung is a Korean word for Anger Sickness. It is just one more of the national mental illnesses that Koreans all suffer from. It is that anger than flashes over them and they cannot control it...much similar to a 3 year old having a temper tantrum.

You are a target in Korea for a multitude of things: staring, sex, inappropriate touching, cheating, stupid questions, instant friendship, and violence. They are pissed. I predict more aggressive behavior towards foreigners for a few weeks. Exercise caution.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Lousy in Korea

Please go check out this chick's blog. She is sick. She is twisted. If you listen to her retard detractors, she eats Big Macs everyday. But at least she is interesting and intelligent as seen by her writing style (I am a snob for good writing). Check her out. She let me have a guest post on her blog. She promised to flash me her tits on webcam. I have the lube ready. So check out my guest post on her blog.

Leaving pennies on the table

I got my last paycheck, company pension, and some withheld non-taxable wages wired to my JPMorganWashingtonMutualMegaFuckConglomerate bank account yesterday. The money was about 40% more than I expected. I guess I didn't take it without Vaseline this time by the DAKs (Dumb Ass Koreans). First thing I did was wire $10,000 into my brokerage account. Time to play! I chose 1150 shares of Micron Technology, a semiconductor maker specializing in DRAM and NAND. By close yesterday, I was 6 pennies down a share. The shares had just crossed below their 10-day moving average, but I was going to play contrarian and bought it anyway. I didn't pull the trigger at the end of the session and worried about it all day.
I woke up at 5:30 a.m. and couldn't sleep. I feared that I had made a mistake and looked more into the stock. If I put in a sell order for the open, the counter (stock) could fall dramatically at the open with all the orders queued and I'd get screwed on the bid. I decided to see what happens.
It opens and is mostly up. It hit an intraday high of $8.80 once and bounced down. I thought that if it hit that high again, that I should sell. It hit $8.84 and I sold, the bid settling in at $8.83. I made 16 cents a share multiplied by 1150 shares for a profit of $184. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

By the end of breakfast, those gains had retreated and I was satisfied with my modest gain.
Little did I know that Big Ben Bernanke was on The Hill and his testimony before congress on his outlook for the economy pushed tech stocks up across the board. I was wondering why the stock had shot up a few hours later. I left 23 pennies on the table. If I had sold at the intraday high, I would have made another $448.

It kinda felt like getting a handjob from the maid when you could have gotten a blowjob from her daughter a few hours later.

But money is money. I'll be back into the fray when the money settles.
Enjoy your interactions today with the DAKs.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Back in the Fatherland going on four weeks now

"I am so vely,vely jealous-eh, because you country is #1 and Korea...all the way down. We have-eh the dirty Asians here. ㅠㅠ. So I sad, but HATE more than sad! So all I can do is give you the fuck you pinger, because I am filled with uncontrollable envy for your country. I have-eh the 화병."

화병 is the 'anger sickness' that Koreans have...that ALL Koreans have. We have all seen it; a Korean flips the fuck out over almost nothing.

I haven't seen that in four weeks as I am back home in the wonderful state of California. But all is not lollipops and blow jobs here, dear readers, the state is fucked. December unemployment rate was 10.2%. Seriously not good. And that figure doesn't count those discouraged and not actively seeking employment, those underemployed, and those forced to work part time. Not everyone is from a wealthy family. Which comes to my main point:

I drive a Porsche.

Koreans want sooooo much to believe the myth that English teachers in Korea are losers who can't get work in Wakgookinland and have to go to Korea to teach. Then this is where they get twisted: we date Korean women and make as much or more than they do. Oh snap! That must hurt. I have dated an actress, models, and some very attractive barely legal teens.

But I was not an English teacher. I have taught English before, but I am not a teacher. I had professional jobs that were not teaching related. I wore suits to work. If you are clean cut and wear a suit, the Koreans will not treat you the rude way they usually treat us foreigners. It is enervating that one must wear expensive suits to get basic respect from them.

I don't want to talk about this. I was going to post on something else, but I had a flashback.

I have been back almost four weeks now. I am glad to be back and I do miss Korea as well. I am back at the house where I grew up, staying with my parents. My Porsche was in the garage waiting for me. Mom had put boxes on it. I told her not too. It runs like a dream. I will get four new Michelins for it this week. I am going to go on a road trip early next month. Actually, it will be a business trip, but I am going to make it fun.

I hope that some of you reading will leave a few comments about what you are doing and how you are feeling.

Oh yah...I have a new girlfriend. She is an Asian, but not Korean. I wish she was a Korean so she could bring me kimchee and side dishes alot. (Note to self: find Korean girlfriend in California). (Another note to self: one that doesn't work in a massage parlor).

Oh snap!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Return to the Fatherland

Back in The Fatherland. Is it good to be back? Lemme see...yes and no. Try getting a job...most of my friends are out of work, working part time or had their work hours decreased, or underemployed. I already have my job worked out, so that's not a worry.
I just don't know how long I can last here. There has been a rash of crimes in the satellite cities around where I live. It is the typical black-on-black crime where niggas be shooting niggas over $10 or their street rep, knowwhati'msayin'? Same old shit year in and year out, century in and century out. As Franz Fanon would say,"Niggers killing niggers on a Saturday night. The mayor of one particularly fucksated city had the kanakas to wave away the problem by saying that it was happening in other cities around the state as well. A very big FUCK YOU to you, Mr. Mayor-who-can't-be-speaking-English-right-knowwhati'msayin'?
Went into the local warehouse shopping store. Chinese man walks past with greasy unwashed hair and dandruff on the collar of his cornflower blue member's only jacket.
Get 2 gallons of milk and a dozen and a half eggs. Big Black Buck is checking the items. It rings up to something like $10.29. Hilarity ensues:
"uhm...the milk is two for $5 and the eggs are $2.79...that's not $10.29."
He points to the labels on the milk...they are both blue, but one is 1% and the other is 2% milk. Both are on sale for 2 for $5, so what's the problem. So, I said, "Ok...ring up two gallons of the 2% milk and I'll switch them after I pay."
He attempts to do so, but the total comes out higher.
"That can't be right. "
"See, I took of the milk and added the other one."
"I want two gallons of milk for $5 and the eggs are $2.79...That's $7.79."
This was too much for him and he stared at me like I was speaking Korean to him.
Homeless looking guy eating a muffin behind me says something about switching the milks...people are waiting...I told him to shut up and eat his muffin. BBB needed to fix the problem.
Of course, I was wrong in that I should have had two milk gallons of the same kind, but if both are two for $5, what's the fucking problem? Finally BBB gets it worked out and I want to pay for it with a debit card. BBB asks if I want cash back and I tell him that I want $40. He rings it up, hands me the receipt for $47.79 and nothing else; he starts ringing up the next customer.
"Can I have my $40 please? He says nothing to me, obviously humiliated because he cant be understandin' 2nd grade math and shit, he just calls over the manager and tells her that he owes me $40. The manager opens the register and BBB hands me the $ sorry, no thank you. Whatever...I thought about saying something, but was afraid I'd get shanked later.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Koreans vacation like Assholes

Here are two DAK stories from travelling. A DAK is a Dumb Ass Korean. Studies show that there are nearly 47 million of them in the Land of the Moaning Clam alone.

I was in the departure lounge at the Bangkok airport drunk and waiting for them to call for boarding FOR THE 11:30 pm flight. There were two stupid looking Korean women with nearly identical sun dresses and big bug eye sunglasses (mind you it was nearly midnight) trying to open a security door. The Thai Thai Air employee rushed over to stop them as it is not to be opened and the loud siren would sound.
After the woman returned to her station, the women went around trying to open other doors. I went up to the woman and asked her what the DAKs (Dumb Ass Koreans) were doing.
They wanted to smoke.
The woman said she told them they had to go upstairs and outside if they wanted to smoke and would have to pass the security scanners on the way back. DAKs are lazy though. They just kept trying to open doors. The Thai Air employee said that if they open a door and the siren goes off, she will let security deal with them. The woman added: "They are Korean. They are very strong at whatever they do." Indeed.
I knew that I had a friend in her, so I told her that I didn't want to sit next to any Koreans on the flight. She said she understood and blocked the seat next to me so that I didn't have to have a DAK sitting next to me on the way home.
I have another good story. This was about 7 or 8 years ago and I was flying Seoul to San Francisco on Singapore Airlines. You know the Singapore Chinese don't like the DAKs. Everyone in Singapore follows the rules to the letter. Or else they get a cane. So the flight was really not full, with plenty of seats around. I had three to myself and could almost stretch out for a nice flight home.

I went to the bathroom and when I came back, a DAK woman was sitting on the aisle seat and on my blanket. I asked her to go back to her seat and she refused. She said she had a right to sit there. I told her no, it was not her assigned seat and she needed to go sit in her assigned seat. She refused. Her husband was lying down in the four seats that they had to themselves in a row adjacent to mine. I guess they had been plotting to grab my 3 seat set up as soon as I got up.

I was really tearing into this woman. I told her that it is strange and inappropriate to move and sit next to another man on a flight and that she was making me feel uncomfortable. People were watching and listening. I called the stewardess over and before I could tell her the problem, the stupid DAK started vehemently arguing her point to a then-startled stewardess. Dumb move. I asked the stewardess to have the woman move back to her assigned seat, and the stewardess asked the woman to return to her assigned seat and that she would see what she could do to get her more room.

Of course, everyone who was smart (i.e. not Korean) had already grabbed more space after the flight took off.

I got the dirty looks and they were talking shit about me in Korean repeatedly. That was cool. Singapore Air will serve you Heineken after Heineken if you don't act drunk. I drank my fill, periodically trying to pass out (which is nearly impossible for me to do on a plane). But I had the pillows behind my head, the eye mask on, the blankets all cozy around me, and a smirk on my face that I knew was driving them completely batshit nuts.

Good times, good times.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Korean driving make me want to kill bunnies and puppies

"Koreans are actually very good drivers." The quote was from a high level student I once taught. I wonder which koreans he was talking about. I figured you could name them on one hand.

I always use this example when discribing the Korean "drivers": Imagine that you had a very tall 6 year old, taught him the mechanics of driving and the rules of the road, then told him he could disregard the rules anytime he wanted to.

Just got in from driving to the store a half a beer ago. I had a Korean cut in front of me while i was driving so that he could make a left turn across two lanes of traffic. No one in back of me, but he couldnt wait that 2 extra seconds.

Sometimes I pull up next to them to bitch them out. Most of the time they have no idea what they did. It is just how the ricetards.

Drunk again

Got drunk last night with an old friend, a new friend, and an Irish gentleman that I just met that night. There is an inverse relationship between how much one drinks and how intelligent the conversation is. The conversation devolved into a talk about how many dead Iraqis is equal to the magnitude of one dead American. I proffered that the answer was four.
"Fuck You!"
Repeated several times until the conversation slowly and awkwardly ground to a halt. It was 3 a.m. Time to go home.
I think that there is very little chance of having a mature discussion on US foreign policy with someone who is not from the States.
Nice guy though. Cool party; cool people.