Sunday, October 25, 2009

Please Mr. Kim...don't eat my dog.

Dog meat was eaten in Korea traditionally because Koreans were poor and need to survive. Then they came up with their voodoo-science theory, nay, fact that if you tourture the dog the meet with be more potent like some damned Rover Viagra.

Fast forward to the present day and Koreans are geeting slammed internationally for the practice, but are too proud to let the foreigners get them to stop doing something. It's like my neighbor...I ask him not to slam his gate, but he slams it anyway because he doesnt want me to control him. He could easily shut it quietly and it wouldnt take im more than a fraction of a second to do so (actually the whole damn family slams the gate).

So, they make it illegal...wink wink...and all around the country are dog meat restaurants advertising dog meat. I believe that they should just seriously enforce the ban as part of brand imaging. See...we are developed now. We don't eat dogs anymore.

My mother and my sister used to volunteer at a dog shelter in California and were told by the staff to be wary of Koreans looking to adopt larger dogs. Koreans need to step up and not be cartoon characters to the rest of the world.

Years ago there was a small market in Shindang. I happened upon it back in '95. I wondered around the market and it started to rain. I went down one alley way and there was a small cage with 2 large dogs inside. One dog had a tennis ball in its mouth. Through the tennis ball was a straightened out clothes hanger that was tied tight around the back of the dog's head. Blood and rain were streaming down the dog's face as the other dog licked his friend's wounds. The dog was in obvious pain and the look in his eye was frightening. I actually became scared and quickly left the market.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Koreans need to level up their manners Part 1: Pushing and Bumping

I decided to go to the War Museum today. I have passed it a million times and have spent some time looking at the planes, tanks, vehicles, artillery that are in front of the museum. I was approaching a side gate of the Yongsan Army base on the very busy street that runs in front of Camp Kim and the USO and down the street from the Samgakji intersection. As I began to cross in the crosswalk, I had my head oscillating back and forth like a fan. There were cars waiting to turn that I would need to pass in front of and cars could turn left and right in front of (or into) me; you know how Koreans drive.

So, I had plotted the course across the street and I was scanning the traffic from side to side. I see a Korean ajosshi coming out of the Army gate and he was on a collision course with me. I didn't want to change direction as I was certain that I could cross safely by walking straight. At the last second, I put both elbows up and ajosshi caught a Charles Barkley style elbow to the shoulder. I keep walking and he yells after me and then rubs his shoulder and makes a hurt face. Asshole. Watch where you are going.

Then I went to EMart because I wanted to get my drink on. On the way back, this Korean 20-something moron tries to walk from my left across my path. I would have had to stop walking in the intersection to avoid colliding with him. As he crossed my path, I threw a forearm at him like I used to do in high school football. He bounced off it and crossed my path, so I guess he won even though he took a hit.

I hate these "people."

Monday, October 5, 2009

I have never heard anyone ever say Koreans were sofisticated

I don't eat out often. Usually only on dates. Reasons include cost, lack of trust that the kitchen staff are preparing the food with a modicum of hygiene, and I don't like watching Koreans eat....especially the men.

Nyom nyom nyom nyom

It is bad enough that they do not chew with their mouths open. But that just gives me an opportunity to devote all my attention to my date. Koreans appear, all too often, to have a contest to see who can shove more food into their cakeholes and still carry on a conversation. You really can't get away from the sound.

I can still remember my mother's voice telling me to chew with my mouth closed...don't talk with your mouth full...don't use the salad fork for the main course (even that level of table manners is way over Koreans' heads).

Korean parents do not teach their children table manners...wait....what do they teach them? Not to throw garbage of the ground? No. Keep the noise down in public places? No. Don't slam doors and gates? No. Not run around in crowded places? No. Etc... ad infinitum. They do send them to 20 hogwons a week. That counts for parenting, doesn't it?

Back to the restaurant...the sounds they make when they eat really make me sick. Smack, smack, smack...nyom nyom nyom. And the sounds they make when they those two Pepsi ads. Then we have burping, picking their teeth at the table....I can't continue.

Ever been to a buffet in Korea? It's like feeding time. And they can stand hovering above the food, talking over it, minute particles of spittle falling on the food. Last time I was at a buffet (2001), I was going to get ice cream until the kid in front of me sneezed on it in the freezer.

That's it. Talk amongst yourselves.