Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Koreans will never be better than Ono at speedskating. As a matter of fact, Koreans are not even good at short track; it's just that they are good at pushing, shoving, and jumping the queue...the fact that they are on skates comes in a distant 2nd. Koreans will never be as cool as Apolo Anton Ono. He is not fit to stand on the podium with you, that dickhead said? You couldn't even hold this guy's soul patch, my kimchee-fueled friend. This is the most decorated Winter Olympian in the history of the Winter Olympics. Only a Korean would say that about the podium nand Ono.
Everyone be careful out in Korea today. Koreans are gonna be pissed. They have yet another reason to hate foreigners. They actually enjoy the kind of pain that comes with playing the victim; but it brings out their 화병, too. Hwa Byung is a Korean word for Anger Sickness. It is just one more of the national mental illnesses that Koreans all suffer from. It is that anger than flashes over them and they cannot control it...much similar to a 3 year old having a temper tantrum.
You are a target in Korea for a multitude of things: staring, sex, inappropriate touching, cheating, stupid questions, instant friendship, and violence. They are pissed. I predict more aggressive behavior towards foreigners for a few weeks. Exercise caution.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
화병...it is the 'anger sickness' that Koreans have...that ALL Koreans have. We have all seen it; a Korean flips the fuck out over almost nothing.
I haven't seen that in four weeks as I am back home in the wonderful state of California. But all is not lollipops and blow jobs here, dear readers, the state is fucked. December unemployment rate was 10.2%. Seriously not good. And that figure doesn't count those discouraged and not actively seeking employment, those underemployed, and those forced to work part time. Not everyone is from a wealthy family. Which comes to my main point:
I drive a Porsche.
Koreans want sooooo much to believe the myth that English teachers in Korea are losers who can't get work in Wakgookinland and have to go to Korea to teach. Then this is where they get twisted: we date Korean women and make as much or more than they do. Oh snap! That must hurt. I have dated an actress, models, and some very attractive barely legal teens.
But I was not an English teacher. I have taught English before, but I am not a teacher. I had professional jobs that were not teaching related. I wore suits to work. If you are clean cut and wear a suit, the Koreans will not treat you the rude way they usually treat us foreigners. It is enervating that one must wear expensive suits to get basic respect from them.
I don't want to talk about this. I was going to post on something else, but I had a flashback.
I have been back almost four weeks now. I am glad to be back and I do miss Korea as well. I am back at the house where I grew up, staying with my parents. My Porsche was in the garage waiting for me. Mom had put boxes on it. I told her not too. It runs like a dream. I will get four new Michelins for it this week. I am going to go on a road trip early next month. Actually, it will be a business trip, but I am going to make it fun.
I hope that some of you reading will leave a few comments about what you are doing and how you are feeling.
Oh yah...I have a new girlfriend. She is an Asian, but not Korean. I wish she was a Korean so she could bring me kimchee and side dishes alot. (Note to self: find Korean girlfriend in California). (Another note to self: one that doesn't work in a massage parlor).
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I just don't know how long I can last here. There has been a rash of crimes in the satellite cities around where I live. It is the typical black-on-black crime where niggas be shooting niggas over $10 or their street rep, knowwhati'msayin'? Same old shit year in and year out, century in and century out. As Franz Fanon would say,"Niggers killing niggers on a Saturday night. The mayor of one particularly fucksated city had the kanakas to wave away the problem by saying that it was happening in other cities around the state as well. A very big FUCK YOU to you, Mr. Mayor-who-can't-be-speaking-English-right-knowwhati'msayin'?
Went into the local warehouse shopping store. Chinese man walks past with greasy unwashed hair and dandruff on the collar of his cornflower blue member's only jacket.
Get 2 gallons of milk and a dozen and a half eggs. Big Black Buck is checking the items. It rings up to something like $10.29. Hilarity ensues:
"uhm...the milk is two for $5 and the eggs are $2.79...that's not $10.29."
He points to the labels on the milk...they are both blue, but one is 1% and the other is 2% milk. Both are on sale for 2 for $5, so what's the problem. So, I said, "Ok...ring up two gallons of the 2% milk and I'll switch them after I pay."
He attempts to do so, but the total comes out higher.
"That can't be right. "
"See, I took of the milk and added the other one."
"I want two gallons of milk for $5 and the eggs are $2.79...That's $7.79."
This was too much for him and he stared at me like I was speaking Korean to him.
Homeless looking guy eating a muffin behind me says something about switching the milks...people are waiting...I told him to shut up and eat his muffin. BBB needed to fix the problem.
Of course, I was wrong in that I should have had two milk gallons of the same kind, but if both are two for $5, what's the fucking problem? Finally BBB gets it worked out and I want to pay for it with a debit card. BBB asks if I want cash back and I tell him that I want $40. He rings it up, hands me the receipt for $47.79 and nothing else; he starts ringing up the next customer.
"Can I have my $40 please? He says nothing to me, obviously humiliated because he cant be understandin' 2nd grade math and shit, he just calls over the manager and tells her that he owes me $40. The manager opens the register and BBB hands me the $40...no sorry, no thank you. Whatever...I thought about saying something, but was afraid I'd get shanked later.